风膜这个月

有四年没有上来了。今天再次把部落格重新*public*了。 我想记录一下自己的身体状况和分享一下好起来的路上是如何走过来的。

6/7/2017
那一天，依稀记得脸和身体都长了红红一块块的风膜但由于我本身长年都有皮肤敏感所以没有把这事看得太严重。拿了早上的MC去看公司的panel doctor "Poliklinik Tan Lee Cheong"。为了不影响工作，我吃了两天医生给的药。可是西药通常都比较强所以吃了会觉得很累。刚好，过了两天是周末。Dear 带我去拜访了他们家从小看到大的中医。

8/7/2017- 吃中药的期间我就以平常心去调理身体。当然，风膜也没有到很严重的情况但它每天都有出末在我身体。 吃了一个星期的中药粉没有好转直到 15/7/2017.

16/7/2017 - 情况一直没有好转而且每况愈下。

17/7/2017
忍了一天希望会有好转但状况恶化。风膜的部分太靠近下体所以我真的有点担心。同事劝我去附近的医务所打针。打了针医生说还需要吃一个星期的药。

打针的效果是最快的但其实真的长久吗？

第二天，大腿红肿的地方消红了但变得带浅紫色了。我没有对这执着太久，觉得病情会好起来的所以就一心想把医生给的药吃完就好。 就这样平安的度过了一个星期多。

26/7/2017
当天晚上觉得身体痒痒的，心想是我风膜后遗症吗？

27/7/2017
事实证明了那不是心里作用。第二天早上身体很多部位都长了风膜。我开始对这个病慌了，心里多少有些担心到底身体出了什么问题让它那么频密的出现。我尝试上网找了很多关于类似的病例和专业的解说但是却分不清谁说得对谁说得错。

当天5.30pm 放工前我开始 觉得呼吸困难，劲上的风膜越来越大块。原本想回家再看状况如何才决定要不要看医生。可是，我可能太不舒服加上呼吸困难...想着想着哭了起来。同事们都纷纷劝我去医院做个检查。

28/7/2017

尾声

雨过天晴 的 随意 是多么耗费心力的演技

如果不是被爱伤得彻底 谁会把自己关得那么紧

最痛的不是美好变过去 是未来草木皆兵的多疑

谁能把我在回忆的阁楼里面 拉出来

不自觉闭上眼睛 皱着眉头

闻到玫瑰的香味 却 不敢接受

要是 可以 没有人愿意被隔一道小小的窗

其实 多羡慕天空的云朵飞得好自由

我就是那个“剩女” 

滴嗒 滴嗒 仿佛听见圣诞老人的铃声隐约响起了

紧接着 就会迎接新的一年

然后在你还没回过神来 爆竹声噼里啪啦的 

又一年了

最怕过节 因为会显得特别孤单

时间 会证明一切

我很喜欢现在的自己 不想回到过去

回忆很美 所以 再次提起 就别再落泪

它们值得怀念缺不该留恋

不哭了

不哭了，不苦了

爱情不谈愧疚

人与人之间，真不该如此脆弱。

但情人与情人之间，却常常需要断裂得无比彻底才能释放彼此。

爱情究竟是个什么东东？
婚姻又是个什么西西？
而这个东东和西西之间又存在了什么南南北北的关系？
我的人生经历不多
但直觉告诉我 爱情其实是我们心中的
一种信仰 一种向往 一种真善美的追求
信则有 不信则无
什么海枯石烂 什么白头到老
那不过是诗人的一种浪漫情怀和我们每一个人的自欺欺人
真所谓秀恩爱 死得快
古往今来多少钻石爱情到头来都变成一盆狗血一地鸡毛
有时爱与不爱的转换速度之快让我们惊呆
爱的世界里最大的敌人是什么？
是欲望 ~
人类的欲望与生俱来，无穷无尽
而诚信大概就是唯一能维持和保存那份爱的力量

在爱情里 不但要有 热诚（PASSION) 还要有 信仰 (FAITH)

缺一不可

************************************************************************

Sometime you may be really sad with the time you can't make your dream true.

I really know the feeling.

But,do you know what's great about dream ? 

You can have a different dream.

Just like the way you dream every night in your sleep.

You can just dream another dream.

You aren't throwing your dream away, but having a different dream.

You may think it was the "first"...

You just need to make another "first"...

You may not know what, who, when that will be.

*************************************************************************

Once upon a time, I thought it has a requirement to love or being love.

NOW, I think it in this way...

When you truely love someone without any condition, you become qualified to care that person.

*************************************************************************

Doing something "for" someone...

is when you keeping an eye on them.
Not ignorance or neglect but like I said, just watching them.

Truthfully, it's the hardest thing to do. 

Although it's difficult, it does help the relationship to stay strong for a long period of time.

Can you ?

用跑步，释放＋做自己！！

在一开始的时候你就想好了 你希望你后来呈现的是什么 你想要看到什么

那其实你的过程 不管多累多辛苦 你都可以 因为你知道你要什么

一起训练的时候 你会觉得两个人是朝同一个目标 一起去跑 去完成这件事

全身很累 瘫在那边 

可是心里有很舒畅的感觉 我有很多很多在身体里的脏东西跟不开心被纾解掉了

在跑步的过程当中 它不只是运动 它教你如何使用身体和放松它

我也想利用跑步 找到新的自己 

The Vow

Someday, when we read these the story become PASSED.
Everything is IMPOSSIBLE to get back the same.
Choose to be SILENT this time and finally.
Finally ACCEPTED who you are and what you are going to become without any prohibit.
It's bring me a little surprise...no, it's really a big surprise.
They said nobody fault in a relationship.
Perhaps, the charming of us get lost eventually only darkness followed us.
I owe you a "SORRY"...forgive me to make everything mess up before you run away.
Didn't really mean it to change you but transform you to be the better of mine.

Love
Never ever try to change a person if you love him/her.
Accept the way they are. If you couldn't then you never deserve the best of them.

The Vow
I accepted who you are from now but you just no longer of mine.
The only promise and it's the last things I could do in the end of the story.

单身不可怕 如能诚实的放下 相恋很可怕 如何甜蜜的欺诈 

二十岁 不一样的想法

踏进二十, 不管是样貌还是思想都不同了一点. 当然, 每个人都希望进度发生在自己的身上. 我也不例外.

其实, 生活可以很简单但绝不肤浅.

你可以不帅但要有风度. 

你可以不漂亮但要有气质. 

你可以不富裕但要懂得支配金钱. 

你可以为所欲为但要对自己负责.

当那位说我从小女孩变成女人时, 心中冒出一股感慨. 不再是  霹雳啪啦 什么都讲的无知小孩 渐渐学会聆听与分辨什么该说什么该收的女孩. 读书, 不是炫耀你懂得更多而是从中吸取精华然后培育有品质的人格.

一个人会因智慧而美丽. 医生被社会尊敬不是因为麻木的去吸收知识而是他们利用里头的智慧去救活更多人. 文字不伟大, 伟大的是作家能利用一篇有意义的文章去改进人们的想法.

这个世界不管你再怎么好还是会有人不满你. 认真, 尽力就好. 默默的付出与耕耘 得到的就算不比别人多但很满足. 人生完美的事太少, 我们不能什么都想要更不用硬硬的去达到.  强求不幸福反而弄巧成拙, 顺其自然吧 ~

The Lonely City

  Listen to mum. I stepped back to here. If not I'll keep on thinking about how The memory in my heart is going to full. Dropped in here to digest part of it. May the busy of homework make me concentrate in academic? Please,  let me go ! I don't want to be disturbed by such useless things. Perhaps too pain...not only the wound but feel vexed about something too.

  Only absent 2 days but it's look a lot things happened in college. The world wouldn't change even without you, Liew See Jiun. Come on, you can do it ! Go ! Go ! Go !

A Longer Day

  It's tougher to pass through . Second day after operation, the face yet swollen. I don't know why the wound is getting more pain. Like a knife cut off your skin and the brain is going to burst. Just took a pain killer to control it. The leaves are only available until tomorrow. Wish I can get well as soon as possible.

  Suddenly miss popo so much. Hope she is beside to accompany in home when everyone went out to work. ='( Can Today pass by a little bit faster ?

  I'll be a little bit stronger than Yesterday after Today. Do you agree?  No Pain, No Gain.

10th May

  两年前, 遇见了你是我在学院的起点.  第一天, Orientation 就坐在我隔壁. 你问我: "你是QS 的?" 我 "哦" 了一声.... 就ignore 你. ^^ 是缘分吧~它让我们同班再成为好朋友...从形影不离,无话不说到分班. 其间哭过, 伤过, 恨过...傻到还写信要换班也不成功) 真的哭过很多次因为我真的很怕孤单. 多少人甚至问过我如果没有你我能活吗??  到现在你们告诉我就快转校...我真的很不舍得...很不舍得...很不舍得. 两年, 你和她都陪伴我每一个Lecture...下个学期就分开了. 

                                                   两年前的今天我和你们同住在一起.  

   我会习惯吗? 我不敢多想因为我知道还有很长很长的路要走. 大家都有自己的梦要完成. 我们一定要努力, 等到梦想成真然后被自己的成功感动不已. 不管怎样, 很高兴你们走过我的人生.

                                    

Who Can I Believe To

I have promised to you that what wrote in here genuineness. In the way to grow up, I found that no matter where, how, to whom, and what you share. Nothing will be agree by whole yet make argument between each other. It starts to make me tired and fed up with all such things. Sometimes I'll ask myself is it just a childish way to express all my emotional and opinion here. A lot of things can't voice out and it just that tough for me to break down it in heart.

  Hope Angle pass by may drop me a message which can guide me to the right way.

Follow Your Heart

  Hey guys, I think it's time to write and I am writing. Like what I put as Post Title. I have stayed in Home for about 2 months and that's another 2 months to go. If you ask am I regret to choose to have my Practical in Hometown. I think I may not able to answer you. =) That's always good and bad but I choose not to voice out much in negative thinking and comments.

  What for? If I tell you how sad I am ~how tough I face~ how worry I have ~ Are you going to cry with me? Are you going to help me? Are you really care I am blooding in heart? Do you know I try badly to stand up when I fell? I believe everyone is weak in mentally when you failed. Prove it ? Just try to Smile with a wound in your body. 

  Secondly, don't judge me with face. It's FACT and I found you're NOT REALISING. I showed how free I am when I free. It is same as I can't show you how busy I was because I was busying (where I have time to capture when I was doing works?) Don't you feel contradiction ? I do feel annoyed, SORRY to say that. What a DAMN and SUCK feeling now!

  Phiew ~ (after 30 minutes) ~Con't 

  Fine ~ =) SMILE ! Let's share something Happy.

  

  During the period of practical, sometime I feel touch with my dad acting. Wake up earlier just to send me to office and bring me enjoy our great breakfast before work. 

  I do feel proud to meet a kind, nice and amazing Principle for my Practical. I still remember what he told me...The MOST meaningful words. Girls, slow and steady. It's no point to speed up but everything wrong. Do your works accurately is more important. When you catch up automatically development in speed. ^^ I'll keep it in mind & heart forever. 

  Seriously, I am here to promise that I am going to take good good care of my health. Skin allergic badly and backbone pain last for a month. I went for blood test today. Lack of blood in body and totally no blood can be taken out with 3 holes. I need go and make it in another day again. =( 

  Mum was running in and out looking for Chinese Medicine for me last month. Finally backbone is cured. Say NO to cold drink and spicy food. Honestly, I'll still take some without her knowing. :p 

  Okay, totally can't finish all stories here. =) The sequence of Life is same as my blog, Up and Down. Doesn't matter. It's a Fun, fly Up to sky and Down to wonderland. Sorry, my language is freaking bad. LOL ! 

一个人

一个人的时候 很无聊

一个人的时候 很无助

一个人的时候 很无奈

这是人生的过程

一个人 要自力

慢慢就习惯了

一个人的时候 亲人给的鼓励 

短短的 但稳住了我恐慌的心 

Father

Dad , I grew up already. 

You are the person that I get everything from you without a Thanks.
So go ahead to do so next time.

I know that's not an easy job.Where's your strength come from ? 
Make Home Warm and Lovely.

I hope to jog near the forest, climbing and have a cycle match with you again.

But I'm just away from home. I wish you stay healthy always.

Can the time just get slow a bit ? Don't make my daddy getting older and older.

May I do anything for you ?

How great  if I could buy the years that has gone so that your white hairs turn back to black. 

You are my idol in my life. Thanks, you've give The Best Home and The Best Things.  

Am I your proud ? Are you still worrying about us ?

My tears dropped once the lyrics started. 

Thanks God to give me a great daddy too.

 (''3 Muacks ~

好朋友

很好奇自己在别人心中占了个怎样的位置. 结果就跑去问了个朋友. 

我 : 朋友啊~ 我有哪个缺点你接受不来? 
她 : 没~ 为什么这样问?
我 : 就说说吧~ 我想知道嘛~
她 : 从来没想过这样的一个问题啊 ! 而且, 真的没什么接受不了地~ 就太 "sin" (爱整齐)
我 : 嗨~ (她会懂我的烦恼)
她 : 叹什么气嘛 ~ 去睡觉吧~ 别想太多~ 

我深知道诗筠的缺点多得是...但...
原来, 好朋友真的能包容你的一切...
不是因为不介意所以才容忍...
而是因为好朋友所以不介意...
不是需要你所以做你的朋友...
而是珍惜你所以才需要你的...


每天能和几个好朋友聊上几句是我疲惫的一天里最欣慰的事. 

A night with Teh Tarik

  Since move to a single small room. I learnt how to stay Alone. In stead to feel lonely, I enjoy the freedom inside. At least, I can do anything I like. Suddenly got a message...just a sense of touch...when you found someone miss you. I miss you too. I'm wondering will you stalk my blog? =) Dosn't matter, not important. Gemini like to refresh their precious moment *every night or even anywhere when they meet something caught their heart before.

  Is it true if you gave what to people, you'll get back the same? How many of us really take care about the feeling of your friends? Feel very annoyed...* if you have drop in here, take 5 minutes to think. WHAT you have contributed to others in a day? Come on guys~ kindly take part of your time sitting in front of the computer to help? Do look around, you wonder he/she are waiting you. Just imagine,don't you upset or disappointed when others treat you badly too. Don't try to give excuse for your unwillingness. Your help was noted; your cruel was carved.

  I'll do it whatever I can. Your cruel is part of the power to train out my strong wings. One day, my wings may strong enough to allow me fly. A night with Teh Tarik ... ^^

 

梦想

梦想不是挂在嘴边炫耀的空气.而是需要认真的实践.

等到对的风,我们展翅飞翔.

没有风,只要拥有足够强壮的翅膀,我们照样能拔地飞行.

人生最重要的,不是完成了什么,而是如何完成它.

人生中发生的每一件事都有它的意义.

绝对不要否定过去的每一个自己!我们无法时时刻刻坚强, 常常,我们得习惯如何在软弱中拙劣的活下去.

努力不被发现眼泪,然后珍惜每一个有机会看见你哭泣的人.

这个世界上,或许真存在不管怎么努力,也达不到地梦想.但如果一百倍的努力,能够换取一个呼吸的距离...欣赏它...那么,我会去做.

最后被自己感动不已.

专心致志.

所谓自我实现,未必要立下多大的目标,只要有些成长,你就会感受到生命的喜悦.

加油!

Little Things happened

Drop in here without an idea to write. During sem break, in mood to post something here but not free. So~ what I can share? Let see...how it's go on....

Yih Shean (cousin) wedding

I was her "bridesmaid". LOL ~ Actually I was informed half year before the wedding. I planned to slim down at first. Who knows my disobedient mouth keep on chewing authomatically the body expands. T.T Although image look in the photo is spoilt, memories were still appreciated. Finally she found someone LOVE her the most forever. Am I right to say like this? Pure love for puppies, true love in wedding. Can a baby pop out a year later ? ^^

Internship

Next sem gonna have our industry training. Got the acception by a consultant firm in hometown. Why choose hometown? I have no reason to stay in KL. Who care the allowances?  What really hope ---> I can learn more. Again, remind yourself. You can slow but don't stand. I'm just so worry many years later when you guys meet me up I'll stand exactly the place I am now. 

New Toy

I got a new toy. Thanks my family. I'll try to take care of it as well as possible. Gonna control myself and don't misuse its functions but fully use. You guys too ~ technology benefits us a lot. However its defects are all the way too.

I still love the old one honestly as very least people having the same as mine. XD Relics as the things inside you couldn't get in others. Yeah, it is one of the present from Yen before I entered college as an encouragement.

Result

Overall under satisfaction. Except one.  @@

STOP ! =) Thanks

Puppy Love

I watched a Thailand movie last few days. It is just a very very ordinary love story. However make me think much. The girl is so pretty and the boy is so handsome. What really attracted me is not about appearance but the character of them.

 When we were young , love is simple. You wouldn't realise how hard you tried and changed yourself because of someone. Changes and  efforts are never such things to make you tired. We can do everythings just to attract the one you love, Amazing. Innocence heart is the greatest and brightest star that lead us to step close with your beloved.

  We getting older and mature. It is so great to have a simple love but so far to catch. Love and beloved may become our burden. Sometimes you found that it is so tough to meet a right man in the right time. We don't know where the problems come from? Are my requirement too high or study and work make you forget about what is love? Sometimes even there is someone you are with but you found out that a lot difficulties between you.

  No matter how. Once get stick don't simply give up. Let the love inclusive all our weakness. No point to stay only during good time and that no word to promise when you don't mean it. There will be a LOVE belong to us and never go away when we live "seriously". ^^

 It's the last teen year for me. Definately, single is free,enjoyed to be single. However puppy love is one of the sympathise for my babyhood. I believe puppy love is memorable for you even when you gone. 

当下

写了又擦,擦了又写~最后,写了就这些~

很累,

很 开心,

很多受获,

真正想说的是,

我从来没想过,

原来,当心打开...这世界那么美好!

每一段人生,都有不同的人经过...好人坏人...

不必太介意一切的一切...

让时间证明它们...

我们何必苦了自己去害怕坏人的恶行对别人的伤害?

因为只有遇过雨天, 才懂得珍惜阳光.

总有一天你会看得见里头的含义.

培养有内涵的我们

事事放在心上,时时不能开心.朋友,当你忽略我,我提醒自己或许生活太忙让大家没时间坐下好好聊聊...所以当我不经易地的忽略了你时,可以不要太在意吗? 可能,对你们而言真的没什么...^^ 我很开心你能这样想...担心的一切只是我一面的多虑. 可是, 并不是说我们都可以又或应该忽略对方因为被忽略的感觉真的不好受. 不懂你有没有常想"他"(家人,朋友,知己)一直默默为你付出与关心你. 而你觉得一切都是理所当然.你不懂人一直付出和维持一段情谊真不容易,单方面的努力经营更是有着许多辛酸与泪水.你不懂付出也至少学会珍惜.

 有时,真的很累...累到受不了...红了眼眶也不敢哭不要哭...因为花哭的时间都没有. 电话里的妈妈,懂我,她安慰说不是不行只是累了所以有时做起事来毛手毛脚(这是家人的伟大).生呼吸生呼吸...泪(累)会倒流...^^  在生活里的另一头,试想想如果你是那么的认真过活但换来的还是被忽略与比较. 真的不好受~

亲爱的你们, 一个微笑能让早晨亮起,一个分享能让人窝心. 一个不经易的批评,忽略与伤害可以过了可以算但被批评的人的早晨给你毁了. 没有人会刻意去毁别人的生活或许你做的一切只想对方好为他着想.你可以在自己的言行举止多加改进来献出你"最好的礼物(忠言)".一来你帮了他又好让对方坦然接受你的好意,那不是两全其美吗?

我们是人不是神. 我和你都会犯同样的错误.过度的批评会对别人做出想象不到的伤害;被忽略有着难言的心酸.一起尽最大的努力不要忽略身边的人,好吗?